The Big Apple

Last year my friends went to New York to visit Kate Pickett, who moved there a couple years ago so her husband could go to law school. I waffled on going for a while and then decided not to. Tim didn't really want to, and I felt weird taking a trip with my friends when I should be taking one with my mom while she's battling cancer. They decided to go again this year, and I decided to join.

I'm glad I did.

This is the breakdown I emailed myself the night before we left. I'll add stuff in parenthesis.

Wednesday: Got in late, Kate met us at apartment (Upper West side, about 82nd and Central Park West) and we went to Jacobs Pickle.

Thursday: Kate walked us to see the window displays on 5th Ave and the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller plaza. We ate in Bryant Park by the ice skating rink. Jess and I went to the Statue of Liberty. (This was cool. We waited in line forever and had to go through security like a million times) But she was so big, much bigger than I imagined. It kind of took your breath away seeing it so close. I was wishing I had my kids with me the whole time. They would have loved the ferry ride and seeing the statue. They kept asking me for pictures of it every time we talked.)

We went to Shake Shack (lived up to the hype) and took it to Kate's to eat. She left for a work thing and we went to Macy's and then Bryant Park to look at the shops. Then we came back and got ready to go out with her. She took us to a speakeasy called Beauty in Essex. (The first night at Jacob's Pickle, Kate asked us if there was anything we really wanted to do and I said a speakeasy. She just kind of smiled and laughed, like  hahah yeah yeah, but what really? So it was a cool surprise). The subway home never came so we took a taxi.

Friday: Jess and I walked around Central Park to see the Friends fountain and the bridge. We met up with Heather and Erin and ate at Cafe Lalo. (This was one thing I have always wanted to do. You've Got Mail is the best movie ever and it was so cool to see this place in person.) Then we went to see the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall. (Another thing my kinds would have loved) We ate at an Indian place and then went to see the tree again and the light display. American Girl Doll store. (It was insanely packed this night and Jessica was going crazy. She can't take the crowds. So she and Heather kind of got in the fight. It was pretty funny an uncomfortable) 

Then met Kate at the shops at Columbus Circle. We took a murdery walk through Central Park and saw the Naumburg Bandshell and the Bethseda Terrace and Fountain. Then we went to Magnolia for banana pudding and home. 

Saturday: Got up early for the 9-11 Memorial and Museum. (This was one of my favorite things and something everyone should do. It was so well done and so emotional. It walked you through each minute that morning and what was happening in different places along the way. There were lots of first responder accounts that were heartbreaking. It was powerful, the whole thing felt almost sacred.) 

Got tickets for Broadway in South Shore. Went to Brooklyn for pizza at Juliana's. (Best pizza I've ever had) Kate took me and Erin to see Grand Central Station. We came back and took a nap. Then we went to a Christmas program at her church then headed downtown for dinner at Los Tacos and then to the theater on Broadway for Anastasia. Then ice cream. Then home. 

So that was my recap. Riding the subway was cool. I loved the rush of the city. It was so alive. As a teenager I really wanted to live in New York City after college and now I wish I'd had the chance. Not that I regret how I did things, but it would have been cool to live there before having kids.

Ear Piercing

 The girls have been asking to get their ears pierced for a while now, so we finally decided to let them do it. We took them to a tatoo/piercing shop in the mall, thinking they would be a little more experienced than the girls in the Claire's. 2/10, would not recommend. But the girls were tough and they're pretty excited!

Eric is 4

My little guy turned four years old. He is so wonderful. He gets a lot of love from everyone in the family. Some of that is because he's the youngest, but most of it is because he just dishes out love and affection on everyone, all the time. I probably get a hundred kisses and cuddles a day. He tells me he loves me, loves me more that the world, loves me more than the whole universe! Yesterday he told me, "Mommy, you are so beautiful!" He also says I am the best mom in the world, and the best cook in the city.

He can be pretty fierce too. He's got a solid punch. He still bites when he gets really mad. But boy, if he doesn't make it up to you with love afterward.

Lately he narrates his day quietly to himself. He plays pretend in his mind and he goes about his business and I love hearing his serious little whispers. He and Ava will play pretend together for hours in the mornings before school.

He started preschool this year and he loves it. He says one girl in his class has a crush on him, he can tell. "And probably everyone in my class has a crush on me."

Bus really is just the funniest, sweetest, most affectionate boy ever. We like him.

The Weird Ankle Incident

This is a long story.

Sunday, March 18, I knelt down next to Mason's bed to say prayers with him. I shifted my weight from one leg to another and when I rested on my ankle, it popped. This has happened before and made it feel a little stiff for a couple of days, but this was different. I couldn't put any weight on it or move it around. It didn't hurt too bad if I was still, but I couldn't walk on it. So I crawled around the rest of the night and hoped it would be better in the morning.

It was not.

So I assumed it was dislocated. I put a message on Facebook asking for crutches and on Tuesday, after a day of crawling around the house, Tim took me to the chiropractor and helped me hop in. He was also sure it was dislocated, and since his X-ray machine was broken, he couldn't check for breaks first. So he just went ahead and adjusted it. It was not good. It hurt so much and despite his assurances that I would be able to just walk out of there when he was done, I was much worse off by the end of the appointment. So he recommended that if it still hurt in a couple days, I should go to the ER.

We picked up crutches from a kind neighbor and headed home, hoping it would start to feel better.

By Wednesday afternoon it was clear that his adjustment had not helped, and Ryan took me to the ER while Tim watched the kids. They took some X-rays and though confused about why I couldn't move it, announced it wasn't broken and sent me home. They said to see a podiatrist if it didn't feel better in two weeks. I was not about to wait two weeks.

The following Monday I started calling podiatrists, and of course! they were all two weeks out. I finally found one that had a cancellation that after noon and so we hurried to South Ogden.

He did another Xray and said he didn't see any breaks either. He thought based on the pain, and the way it was swelling, the lack of mobility and the way my toes didn't respond to stimulus, that it was a torn ligament. So he ordered an MRI to see how severe it was, and if it would require surgery. The soonest we could get in was Friday.

So, by the time I got into the MRI, it had been nearly two weeks of sitting bored and in pain on the couch. I did the best I could to use the crutches to get around and still be a mom, but I was pretty useless. The Dr recommended and I-walk - a kind of one legged crutch that straps to your knee and your shin rests on it, so I ordered one and it did help me get work done around the house. My sweet neighbor Erin Shepherd started picking Ava up from school everyday, and my sister-in-law Megan took her there. I couldn't drive anywhere, which was a major drag with spring coming.

The Dr called with the MRI results and they weren't good. There was some kind of mass in my ankle joint. They couldn't be sure what it was, but it looked big and scary and they needed another MRI with contrast to be sure. I asked if it was possible that it was just swelling from a sprain and I should just wait it out and he said that was possible...but it was also possibly synovial sarcoma. It took another week to get in for another MRI. Which meant I spent the week researching synovial sarcoma online. And basically if you get it, you die. So there was a lot of stress and a lot of crying and man, Tim was a champ. I really had to lean on him for physical and emotional support in a way I never had before and he just took it all in and made the best out of everything. I was a mess with him, I can't imagine what it would have been like without him.

The second MRI showed that it wasn't cancer. But it wasn't nothing. The radiologist and podiatrist decided in was PVNS. A joint disease where the joint lining becomes inflamed and overgrown. It means at least one surgery and probably radiation. So they recommended I see an Orthopedic Oncologist.

I found a Dr and the Huntsman is supposed to be one of the best in the country. He took one look at the MRI and told me there was nothing to worry about, it was definitely not PVNS, it was probably just synovitis, and he would take it out. Synovitis is just swollen tissue but it won't go away on its own, it has to be removed. Especially because it was causing me to not be able to walk.

They scheduled the surgery for the following Monday (April 23, by this point) and removed it. I was so nervous for the surgery. But everything went well.

He referred me to an Orthopedist for all my follow-ups and I went to those. They were pointless. Each time I have gone the Dr has just asked how I feel and scheduled another appointment. I couldn't walk on it for about two weeks after surgery, and then for another month I had to use a boot. He said to start physical therapy so I am currently doing that and it's going well. It's a little frustrating how weak I am after spending months on my butt with zero exercise, but I'll get stronger. And I'm not going to die.

I have never felt so worthless and frustrated. I thought the cabin fever would probably kill me if whatever was in my ankle didn't. I mean, I was going NUTS. Tim went into work late for a while to help me in the morning. And when he didn't I would strap on my crutch, get them all ready and off to school, clean as much as I could. Usually just one chore like laundry, bathrooms, kitchen or floors, and then crash for the rest of the day on the couch in my room. Exhausted and disappointment. Bus and I watched way too much TV. I had all this time to work or create or read and I just couldn't do it. I was like my brain was as injured as my ankle. It was so weird.

But. I had so many people on my side through it all, it was incredible. Erin Shepherd brought me tons of snacks and helped with Ava and text me all the time. Terrie Ann Kelley, Mandy Koford, and Stephanie Benson brought me treats. Erin Roberts brought lunch and visited. Emily watched my kids and brought me snacks and magazines and talked to me and just helped out wherever she could. Tons of people text and called to see how I was doing. I received a lot of service. Normally that is so uncomfortable for me. But this time I needed it. I needed to know that people cared and that I wouldn't be alone if the worst happened. And I wasn't. I was constantly comforted by the people around me and I really felt the love of my Heavenly Father through it all. It is so true when they say that he sends people to answer your prayers.