The Weird Ankle Incident

This is a long story.

Sunday, March 18, I knelt down next to Mason's bed to say prayers with him. I shifted my weight from one leg to another and when I rested on my ankle, it popped. This has happened before and made it feel a little stiff for a couple of days, but this was different. I couldn't put any weight on it or move it around. It didn't hurt too bad if I was still, but I couldn't walk on it. So I crawled around the rest of the night and hoped it would be better in the morning.

It was not.

So I assumed it was dislocated. I put a message on Facebook asking for crutches and on Tuesday, after a day of crawling around the house, Tim took me to the chiropractor and helped me hop in. He was also sure it was dislocated, and since his X-ray machine was broken, he couldn't check for breaks first. So he just went ahead and adjusted it. It was not good. It hurt so much and despite his assurances that I would be able to just walk out of there when he was done, I was much worse off by the end of the appointment. So he recommended that if it still hurt in a couple days, I should go to the ER.

We picked up crutches from a kind neighbor and headed home, hoping it would start to feel better.

By Wednesday afternoon it was clear that his adjustment had not helped, and Ryan took me to the ER while Tim watched the kids. They took some X-rays and though confused about why I couldn't move it, announced it wasn't broken and sent me home. They said to see a podiatrist if it didn't feel better in two weeks. I was not about to wait two weeks.

The following Monday I started calling podiatrists, and of course! they were all two weeks out. I finally found one that had a cancellation that after noon and so we hurried to South Ogden.

He did another Xray and said he didn't see any breaks either. He thought based on the pain, and the way it was swelling, the lack of mobility and the way my toes didn't respond to stimulus, that it was a torn ligament. So he ordered an MRI to see how severe it was, and if it would require surgery. The soonest we could get in was Friday.

So, by the time I got into the MRI, it had been nearly two weeks of sitting bored and in pain on the couch. I did the best I could to use the crutches to get around and still be a mom, but I was pretty useless. The Dr recommended and I-walk - a kind of one legged crutch that straps to your knee and your shin rests on it, so I ordered one and it did help me get work done around the house. My sweet neighbor Erin Shepherd started picking Ava up from school everyday, and my sister-in-law Megan took her there. I couldn't drive anywhere, which was a major drag with spring coming.

The Dr called with the MRI results and they weren't good. There was some kind of mass in my ankle joint. They couldn't be sure what it was, but it looked big and scary and they needed another MRI with contrast to be sure. I asked if it was possible that it was just swelling from a sprain and I should just wait it out and he said that was possible...but it was also possibly synovial sarcoma. It took another week to get in for another MRI. Which meant I spent the week researching synovial sarcoma online. And basically if you get it, you die. So there was a lot of stress and a lot of crying and man, Tim was a champ. I really had to lean on him for physical and emotional support in a way I never had before and he just took it all in and made the best out of everything. I was a mess with him, I can't imagine what it would have been like without him.

The second MRI showed that it wasn't cancer. But it wasn't nothing. The radiologist and podiatrist decided in was PVNS. A joint disease where the joint lining becomes inflamed and overgrown. It means at least one surgery and probably radiation. So they recommended I see an Orthopedic Oncologist.

I found a Dr and the Huntsman is supposed to be one of the best in the country. He took one look at the MRI and told me there was nothing to worry about, it was definitely not PVNS, it was probably just synovitis, and he would take it out. Synovitis is just swollen tissue but it won't go away on its own, it has to be removed. Especially because it was causing me to not be able to walk.

They scheduled the surgery for the following Monday (April 23, by this point) and removed it. I was so nervous for the surgery. But everything went well.

He referred me to an Orthopedist for all my follow-ups and I went to those. They were pointless. Each time I have gone the Dr has just asked how I feel and scheduled another appointment. I couldn't walk on it for about two weeks after surgery, and then for another month I had to use a boot. He said to start physical therapy so I am currently doing that and it's going well. It's a little frustrating how weak I am after spending months on my butt with zero exercise, but I'll get stronger. And I'm not going to die.

I have never felt so worthless and frustrated. I thought the cabin fever would probably kill me if whatever was in my ankle didn't. I mean, I was going NUTS. Tim went into work late for a while to help me in the morning. And when he didn't I would strap on my crutch, get them all ready and off to school, clean as much as I could. Usually just one chore like laundry, bathrooms, kitchen or floors, and then crash for the rest of the day on the couch in my room. Exhausted and disappointment. Bus and I watched way too much TV. I had all this time to work or create or read and I just couldn't do it. I was like my brain was as injured as my ankle. It was so weird.

But. I had so many people on my side through it all, it was incredible. Erin Shepherd brought me tons of snacks and helped with Ava and text me all the time. Terrie Ann Kelley, Mandy Koford, and Stephanie Benson brought me treats. Erin Roberts brought lunch and visited. Emily watched my kids and brought me snacks and magazines and talked to me and just helped out wherever she could. Tons of people text and called to see how I was doing. I received a lot of service. Normally that is so uncomfortable for me. But this time I needed it. I needed to know that people cared and that I wouldn't be alone if the worst happened. And I wasn't. I was constantly comforted by the people around me and I really felt the love of my Heavenly Father through it all. It is so true when they say that he sends people to answer your prayers.

A Date With Ava

My little Ava has not been getting enough attention lately. She just wants to play! And talk! And be with you! So for the last week or so she has been begging for a date. The time just hasn't worked out until today, and we finally got to spend some quality alone time together.

First we got dressed up. She wanted us to wear church clothes and she picked out her Easter dress, but I convinced her I should just wear a skirt. On the drive she kept telling me that it was just my shirt that we needed to change, but once I convinced her that it didn't have any holes she was OK. We went and made an appointment at the nail salon and then headed to the dollar store. She picked out a microphone with bubbles in it and a squishy orange toy and bubble gum. She really just wanted that gum.

Then we went to IHOP for lunch. She chatted about her nerves about starting kindergarten, and her friends, and her family. She is so bright and sweet and wonderful. I could have sat there across from her all day. But we had to get the nail appointment because that was the most important part. She has been so excited for her first manicure. The minute she got in that chair she was all nerves. Straight, grumpy face. Not a word. She was very happy about it all afterwords, all giggles and smiles. But while that guy was working on her she wasn't about to crack a smile.

Then she wanted to go somewhere fancy! And I couldn't think of anywhere. So we went to the temple and walked around and I looked at the flowers and the brides and she nervously watched for bees and played in the fountain. On the way back to the car she ran out into the grass to smell a dandelion. All those thousands of flowers. The one dandelion.

Ava is such a light in our house. On the way home she sectioned out her gum to share with her siblings and told me, "the point of having things is to share!" She sometimes gets pushed around here and it makes me so mad, because she is so kind and thoughtful. She is never the instigator, always the peacemaker. I hope someday to have the kind of Christlike love for people that Ava has.

Two dates

Now that the kids are all getting a little older, it has been easier for Tim to leave them for longer than an hour and we've had a couple fun dates this summer. Really we have to thank Brett and Suzie Goodyear for getting us out of the house, because without their invites we probably wouldn't do anything.

First they got tickets to a Bees game. I hadn't been since high school and I don't think Tim had either. We went to at Lucky 13, which has the most amazing burgers. I'm not even a huge burger person and I love that place. The game was so much more fun that I thought it would be. We got ice cream and talked and laughed. The field was beautiful and the weather was perfect. It was so nice to get out.

Then last week we went to the Faith Hill and Tim McGraw concert. We don't listen to country, but they sang enough of their oldies that we knew some of the songs. Tim got a headache and had to leave while Faith Hill was singing, but we both enjoyed the rest of it. I just love the energy and excitement of the loud music and big crowds. Everyone all jazzed up about something they love. I haven't been to a concert since high school, either, and it was so fun. Plus I just have the best date!

Pioneer Day

Tim doesn't get the 24th of July off of work, so we typically don't do anything, but the last couple years have been fun. Our friends and neighbors the McLaughlins invited us over to watch the other neighbors' fireworks show and have a BBQ again.

During the day I took the kids swimming at the Coates' and then in the evening we went to the get-together.

There were a lot more people there this year, which was OK. But their yard was done this year and it was so nice back there. The kids had a million things to do with a giant playhouse, sand pit, spider web, lawn, you name it. Someone brought a foam machine that was just amazing. It was so high that poor Ava got over her head and couldn't find a way out and panicked. But everyone has the best time. Even Mason ran around the entire time with a big smile and zero boredom or complaints. The fireworks are seriously impressive, especially for a neighborhood thing. And Sarah McLaughlin has been such a sweet friend since we moved in, I'm glad to have her.

A Scout Day

 Mason got to go to a day camp with is cub scout troop and they did some cool stuff. Of course when he came home he had nothing good to say about it, but Tim said he had a great time.